Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
