I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
