dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
