Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Randomize
