I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize