Is it because I queefed?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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