i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
