you would pick up someone in the library
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What a dumb baby whore.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
