grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
