I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
