At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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