Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
