One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
