Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize