I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
