Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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