called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
