He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You may now shotgun with the bride
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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