Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
