May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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