Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
