I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
