I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
