is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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