That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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