Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize