I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he thought i was a dude.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I want to fling myself into the sun
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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