do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
