I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
