Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
