Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
