Define "chronic" masturbator.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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