You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am naked and annoyed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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