i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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