What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
