you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
