You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
