Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize