so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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