The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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