This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
