u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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