That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
