Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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