the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
