Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
