Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
