pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
