Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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