Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
