So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
