i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
