i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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