Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
