i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
