if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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