Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
