the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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