I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
