marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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