Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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