apparently the secret to your success is patron
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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