are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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