You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
