So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
